| The news |
[09 Apr 2012|03:20pm] |
I got my GI bill. Well, the 60% I was hoping for. I'm thinking of teaching or psychology. I don't know yet.
Anxiety stuff continues. I had an appointment with a psychiatrist, but when I got there they told me that I had called and cancelled, which I had not. Instead of attempting to fix their screw up in any way, they told me the next open spot was May third, to which I responded with a "No. I'll just go somewhere else." My appointment with a different psychiatrist is in a couple weeks.
Dinelia will be leaving for Maine soon. We're planning to meet in Texas and visit my family, but then we won't see each other again until November and we'll be in Hawaii.
I got a job with a web judge company. It's pretty good. I get to work from home and never have to talk to anyone by voice.
I bought a media center and TV. Download all the things!
My laptop recently returned from a very long stint with ASUS support. I had to send it in three times in a row, because it kept coming back more screwed up. It was still messed up when I got it back last time, but I fixed the crashing problem with some new graphics drivers.
Dinelia and I went to Disneyland, Medieval Times, and Cleveland National Forest along with some other parks for hiking.
I think that about covers everything recent. Oh, I'm 27 now.
Beans and cornbread
|
|
| Thyme |
[05 Feb 2012|02:01pm] |
So, what's been up since I left the Navy? Not too much for me, really. I just chilled for about two months. I've been playing Rift a lot. Started looking for a job in January. I think this one internet company is about to hire me. I'm at the second stage of application or whatever.
I keep getting sick/having medical issues. Stomach issues, skin issues, and the panic attacks are back. No unreality, though. This stuff has been screwing up my plans for a while.
Dinelia went home and came back. A bit later my mom came out. After that Dinelia had to leave again for two weeks for a Navy thing. She was freezing in Maine.
I'm mostly stuck in my little box/house. Waiting on the VA to tell me about my GI Bill. Waiting to not have some medical issue. Waiting to save money. Waiting to hear about a job.
Squawk squawk
|
|
| Free at last |
[14 Dec 2011|05:48am] |
I'm a civilian again! I have been for a little over a month. It's much better. No more panic stuff so far, though I am more weird around people Now I just kind of expect everyone around me to be a complete retard.
I've just kind of been chilling. I'm slowly working on college stuff, as it seems that I will get 60% of my GI bill. Gonna do something here and then get a masters in teaching in Hawaii, or so goes the plan.
We went to Legoland. It's much more for kids than adults, but it was still pretty cool. Yesterday, I found a free guest pass to Sea World, which gives me two. Now we can both go again.
The car needed new tires and some repairs. It cost me about $1300. That ganked enough money to stop me from being able to go with Dinelia to see her parents. I'm relieved and sad at the same time. I didn't want to go this soon. My spanish isn't good yet and they were all pissed off and stuff about her getting married not too long ago. I'd rather let it sink in. Even so, I said I'd go if I could, so it bugs me that I can't now. I could throw it all on my credit card, but really hate paying for stuff that I don't have the money for. I'm also on unemployment right now and they might call or want me to go to some appointment in that time. They schedule this stuff and then you get a letter saying you have to be somewhere at that time and there's no rescheduling. I have some meeting tomorrow with them.
Unemployment pays a lot. It basically matches whatever you made in the last year. I can see why people screw the system and stay on it. I'm sticking on it for a bit to keep money coming in, but it's not a big deal. I'm trying to get an online job where I can set my own hours. I definitely don't want to work full time. We get BAH, which is basically like my old paycheck, so any money I pull in is just extra. We could still save even if I had no job, but I can't be like that for too long.
Here's what's happening in your neck of the woods.
|
|
| HItched |
[30 Oct 2011|08:35am] |
I'm married! Wow! It's crazy. We had a pretty good sized wedding. Too bad her parents couldn't come, but it was still nice. Had a little chapel and violinist and stuff. We ended up standing in the opposite spots, so technically our bridesmaid and best man were switched. Frank was the prettiest bridesmaid ever. Everyone keeps asking me if I feel married. Honestly, it feels like dating except I don't have to worry about women anymore. We rented a house near her base and got a really good deal on it for SD. Still waiting on the BAH, which is frustrating, but it's coming. The Navy is giving it to me first, then her once I'm a civilian.
Oh, yeah. I'm getting out on Friday. Civilian select Brown becomes civilian dependent Brown. I feel good and bad, but mostly good. I'll miss out on seeing the world, at least I won't see it as much and get paid for it, but I won't have to put up with the endless stupidity. Seriously, the military is retarded. I'm getting a fully honorable discharge and might be eligible for part of the GI bill. I have to look into it more once it happens. They can't make anything simple.
Let's see. We also got a car. This whole thing has put us real low on money, so we haven't been able to do much lately. We're trying to save up for her to go see her parents and then just general savings.
That's about it, gang. Watch out for that tree!
|
|
| Outing |
[31 Aug 2011|06:03pm] |
Went to Comic-con for free. It was awesome! Now to jump back some and get into the big stories.
I went back to Dallas for leave last month. Hung out with some friends and stuff. The best part, really, was getting to do my self defense stuff again. I'm getting so rusty out here. While I was gone, I thought a lot about my future in the Navy and ultimately came to the decision that I didn't want one here. I started a list on my phone of all the specific things I don't like and that list keeps getting bigger. I'd hate to say I don't like the Navy and be too broad with no examples. The examples I've put down aren't just one time things, either. They seem to be staples of military life. I'm not going into it, but there are many things. Far more than what I put in my last post. So, I'm working on getting out. I have weekly appointments at the mental health department. After like six I should be able to have them recommend me for separation. I'm going to try to push for medical, but I think I'll get general under honorable conditions with the tag of "unable to adjust to military life" or something like that. I can't really blame them for not wanting to pay me for the rest of my life, even though my constant panic attacks do seem to have been caused by this. I just haven't done anything for the Navy. I'll only have a little over a year in when I get the boot and it's all been school.
Speaking of school, I graduate Ops tomorrow. I got second in the class without trying or even caring about my grade. The honorman aced every test and practical. It was all so stupid. Six weeks of class could've been condensed to two or three weeks with how much time we wasted. I wish the public knew they were paying us to sit around and bullshit for about half the work day. Some days we did absolutely nothing. The instructors would tell us to take a 15 minute break, then come back two hours later to post us for lunch, and then much the same after lunch. We never spent a whole day busy. I'd say a minimum of two hours were completely wasted every day.
I'm completely disappointed in my Navy experience and, from what I understand from talking to people in other branches, it's the same everywhere. Everything in life is a cost-benefit analysis, and the mental cost of staying in far exceeds the benefits of a steady paycheck and travel. The military does not deserve to have me.
My plans for after getting out are big. It's pretty nuts, really. I'm getting married! Once I decided I couldn't stand to be in anymore, I had to figure out what I wanted to happen with my relationship with Dinelia. Ultimately, I can't leave her. The circumstances have forced it to happen sooner than I prefer, but we're very open and honest with each other, which has let us get closer than most people in our situation. Now, I'm not someone that believes in that "you just know" crap about getting married. We have a 50% divorce rate in this country, so half of those people that "just know" are wrong. I really love and trust her and I think we have long term viability. At some point, you just have to take the leap. Some people wait years and then their marriage fails; others jump right in and have it last a lifetime. I guess the risk is what makes it so beautiful. She will be staying in. She wants to be a doctor and plans to do it by joining the medical officer program, though I will help her as much as possible if it doesn't happen that way. This all means that she is probably doing the full 20 years. I will be a house husband for a good deal of this time. Deployments are gonna suck, but I can hold out. I'm rather strong willed. If she does the medical officer program thing, she will drop out of the deployment rotation for about seven years while she gets all her degrees.
So that's the plan. I'm getting out and getting hitched. Freaky deeky, man.
Estas lista?
|
|
| Demodulated Noise |
[24 Jun 2011|09:45pm] |
This entry will have some good things, but is going to end on a bitter note with something I'm going to be thinking about for a while.
I did end up getting top of the class. Two more and I'll have a Navy Achievement Medal, which will give me an extra point or two on the advancement exam, which I won't be able to take until September 2012. I got another neato challenge coin. This one is a captain's coin. Commander Cody (lol), the XO, shook my hand and said "You da man". He was supposed to hand me the coin in a special handshake, but he didn't know anything about it and the chief ran off afterwards to find one.
I'm now STG3 Brown. There's an extra $200 a month.
Dinelia and I are doing well. I did get a "nice" shirt and wear it to a club with her. I guess it's my latin outfit now.
Anime Expo next weekend! Planning on taking leave the weekend after that for two weeks. Gotta get some self defense training in. I'm getting way rusty.
I got a trance show going again. This one is called Demodulated Noise or DEMON for short. I'm also doing the second in a series of Trance Community albums. Each month will have a new DJ. The first one had over a thousand downloads, so I think this will be a real boost for me. I need to get my new DJ Facebook page more friends!
I'm still liking San Diego. There's still a lot to do here and it's not a bad place to have to chill if you can't find anything. The Navy, however, is starting to bother me a lot more. Maria is just about out. She couldn't stand the stupidity and amount of what we call shit-bags (lazy, don't care, jerks, etc.) here. I thought I could put up with it better, but I'm not sure after this experience I just went through. I got put TAD (Temporary Assigned Duty) to a cruiser to help them pass an upcoming INSURV, which is a big ship inspection. When you're put TAD somewhere, you join that command. In this case, those of us that got forced TAD were supposed to live on the ship. It was in port the whole time. This was basically done to keep them from having to shuttle people there and back every day. A couple of us stayed on the ship for the first two days, but we all eventually started coming back to base every night because the beds are much more comfy. It was all so pointless. They split us up. I was with a friend of mine. The first few days we didn't do anything that would really help them. Cleaned out the bilge (that blows) and some other things, which is a giant waste of time for us because it will not help them pass INSURV in two months. The bilge gets dirty every day. We ended up painting a lot, because we told them how pointless bilge stuff was. This was all made more pointless when they started shuttling people to the ship anyway, voiding the entire reason we were there. We just had to work four extra hours; 7-17 vs. 9-15. The worst thing, though, was the people. They weren't so much jerks as they were just depressing. Everyone's motivation was gone. Nobody liked the Navy. Most said they were getting out as soon as their enlistment was up and that they hated their jobs. They also told us how everything on the ship was broken and it was basically a floating pile of junk.
You see, this stuff has been the case on each ship I've been to. I've been to three different ships now and everyone on them is so depressing. One thing people say about making it in the Navy is staying away from the "F the Navy" people, but that's rather difficult when it's damn near EVERYONE. I only know like two people under chief rank that aren't like that. I'm not sure I can deal with that on a ship. I'm usually pretty optimistic, but it's like being in the Navy just saps the life force out. Everyone is depressed. They can't wait to get off work and drink. People not on ships are total shit-bags, too. Maria was quite right about all that. Honor, courage, and commitment, the Navy core values, are a joke - a PR scheme. They're just here to sound nice. We had an open Captain's Mast where two people got in trouble for doing some stupid stuff on alcohol and then we had an alcohol related incident the next day. I used to have a little pride about being in the military, but I've come to notice it's much the same as civilian life, except with less freedom and more punishment. I'm starting to think civilian life may be better and I think I have a few ways to get out whenever I want without getting dishonorable. I'm going to be thinking about a lot over the months to come. I'll need to have a solid plan if I do get out. I don't want to go back to what I was doing before.
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople.
|
|
| Latin |
[12 May 2011|12:04pm] |
So that latin girl I spoke of last time is now my girlfriend. Her name is Dinelia. We've been to a latin club once and are going to go back soon. She wants me to wear some fancier clothes, which I don't care for at all (see: hate), but I'll put up with it for a couple of hours.
San Diego is still awesome. The weather is almost never bad and there's still so much left to do. I still haven't been to Sea World or Legoland. We made it out to Universal Studios and Six Flags. Technomania circus is a monthly thing now. D&D games every Sunday. I'm still too busy during the week with school to really do much, though Dinelia and I try to practice dancing.
Speaking of class, it ends next week. I pulled ahead to the top yesterday and cemented it more today. It's pretty much between one other guy and me. I feel kind of bad, because he comes in to extra study and really wants it, whereas I never come in to extra study and don't care if I get it or not.
I've been DJing more. I got the Uplifting Special contest going on the Trance Community forums. As always, I give everyone a month to get sets to me and they wait until the last week. They'll start saying they never had time right after the due date is up. Losers.
There's a SPEAR seminar coming up at the end of the month. I need to get registered for that. Also, Anime Expo, the biggest anime convention in the U.S., is coming up on July 1-4. I'm already registered and set up to go. A bud and I are going as Billy and Jimmy from Double Dragon.
The sky's on fire
|
|
| The grass is greener |
[05 Apr 2011|06:52pm] |
I ended up getting the best of the best award at ATT, which means I was in the top 1% of all the students there. I finished with a 96 overall and about a week ahead. Got one thing to put on my brag sheet for evaluations.
I've been moved to San Diego and it's much better here. The weather is nicer, the people are more social, even the barracks are better. It's more like a hotel room with a real bed instead of a cot thing and only one room-mate! I'm able to work out much more often here, so I'm gradually gaining by my lost muscle. Get to get up at 6am instead of 5am. Stuff is also much easier to find here both on and off base. This base is so tiny, you can walk all the way across it in about five minutes. The public transportation here is great. You can pretty much get to anywhere from anywhere. There's also a ton of stuff to do and here I have people to go out with. Thus far I've been to the SD Zoo and Safari Park, the Aerospace Museum, an anime convention, several beaches, lots of good restaurants, all the nearby malls (which are all open air), and some other places I can't think of right now.
My mom just came out (Hi mom!). I gave her the tour of the city, hitting the hot spots like La Jolla and Mission Beach. Gotta practice since I'm going to be the Ship's Tour Guide (STG, lol). Had some REALLY good food. Maria made it out on Sunday and we all caught Cirque du Soleil's Quidam. Three down, like 12 to go.
Mi madre got me a Hercules MK4 DJ console for my birthday while she was here. It's a mixer thing that hooks up to my computer and works with Virtual DJ, so I'm back into DJing. I still prefer the feel of CDs and real decks, but I have to be all minimalistic for the Navy and this thing and my laptop will be able to travel with me when I finally go to a ship.
Oh, I also got a sweet ass laptop a few weeks ago. It cost me about $1700, but it replaces my desktop and is quite awesome. ASUS G73-Jw A1. It's in the top ten lists of gaming laptops.
I started A-school about three weeks ago. It's cool and lame at the same time. I'm learning neat stuff, some of it classified (secret), but the way we learn is so boring. We take notes off a powerpoint and just have to memorize stuff. There's pretty much no working stuff out at all. Basic Acoustic Analysis (BAA) will be better. That's when we use mock machines and track fake contacts.
I'm going to take salsa and some other dance lessons with this latin girl I met. I hope I don't look silly for too long and that I don't stick out too much at the latin clubs. She's going to learn how to rave dance, though!
Do you see me on the way, every night and every day? I'm following a ray of light; let it burn right through my veins.
|
|
| VNV Nation - Arena |
[22 Jan 2011|02:01pm] |
Alrighty then... what's been up? I moved to my permanent barracks, the USS New Jersey. They're oddly strict about some stuff. Things that almost nobody else does like not letting anyone leave in digis after liberty is called. I have phase 2 now, though, so I can wear my civilian clothes then. Maria says she's glad she isn't in mine. Most of the extra rules are dumb. Today they made us all go watch the Polar Bear Plunge, where a bunch of idiots jump into the freezing cold lake. Those of us smart enough to not jump in still had to stand out in the cold for like two hours and almost miss lunch.
ATT isn't bad. Everything is on the computer and it's all self paced, at least for my class. The classes starting now are all group paced, which sucks, because one person will get behind and hold up the entire class. Anyway, it's all about electricity and circuit boards. Just troubleshooting, not making them. Still a little lame, though. We learn to use all this equipment and do all this crap, but in the field we'll just pop out the multimeter and check the voltage and resistance. STGs have a three day hold after graduating ATT. My projected end date is February 17 at the moment. I'm staying about three days ahead. I could get it done even faster, but I don't wanna bail on Maria so soon. There's a two to three month hold for us in San Diego, so no point in getting there faster. My original plan was to get it all done ASAP so I could hit the fleet quicker.
I got sick as crap over the last few days. Feeling better today. I really want to go work out, but I shouldn't. I need to get in there. Not working out makes me feel fat and useless.
My iPhone wiped when I upgraded the software. Still trying to get everyone's phone numbers. I figure the ones I missed will text me eventually.
Maria and I had a good time over the holiday stand down. We got to go to Medieval Times and see some peeps. She saw more peeps. Most of mine are still lame and didn't want to do much or didn't make time to see me. I don't think I'm going back home again until after I'm out of the Navy.
We went to the Field Museum last week. It's huge and has several exhibits. You really need to just go see one exhibit at a time or you don't have time to read everything. You just kinda rush through.
Sort of making friends here. My roomies are pretty cool, except for one, but he's not too terrible. Maria is still the only one I've left with. It'll probably be that way until San Diego. As you would expect, drinking is the most popular thing to do in the Navy. If only I could leave by myself.
I do get E-4 out of A-school.
My beginning and my end, the first and last air that I breathe. More than the sum of everything that I will ever be.
|
|
| Early Navy Life |
[12 Dec 2010|06:29pm] |
First update is old from BAWC.
Updates:
I'm in a 900 division. We are the staff division that basically runs the graduation ceremony. I'm in the honor guard (rifle carriers). We were all hand picked for being smart or able to do physical stuff real well. We're expected to be the top division in our training group and we are so far. Graduation is Friday and we have every flag, including captain's cup, and a divisional average of like 4.92 (out of 5.0), which is ridiculous. That's with two compartment hits. We're probably going to get hall of fame.
I have gotten a perfect score on everything an individual can so far. Two tests and every inspection. One test to go! It's a personal goal to 5.0 (perfect) everything. My current nickname is Mr. Perfect. It did not start with that. I was originally 31 Flavors, because I got this ice cream/cookie sandwhich when nobody else was. They were being pussies and scared of the RDCs. Nothing happened, but me getting that nickname. That name evolved into Baskin Robbins, then Bastard Robbins, then Bastard, then Old Dirty Bastard, then Old Doo-doo (there's another Brown who is young doo-doo), and now Mr. Perfect. I'm actually getting the most improved recruit award and we're saying it's because of all the nickname changes. It's really because this other dude and I were up for the academic award and he got it for having a higher ASVAB (99 to my 95). Test scores were the same, so I got most improved as like second place or something.
What else? Boot camp isn't so bad. The galley food is great! You get used to the lifestyle after a couple of weeks and can sleep decent. Flat eight hours a night. Not sure what else to put.
More current, but still at boot camp:
We got hall of fame! I ended up 5.0ing all of boot camp. I never took a hit on anything, even in battle stations. I'm having to hop over to the compartment next door every night when I get back from liberty to help the new guys study for the tests. Got a neato coin for being the "most improved recruit". Lol
Currently at TSC. It's where most people do their A school. I'm just here for ATT, which is like an introduction to technical stuff or something. It's supposed to be pretty easy, so I'm betting on a good bit of free time. This place is a lot like college, but with more rules. I have to earn phase 2 liberty, which will let me stay out overnight on the weekends and wear civilian clothes on liberty. Won't be able to finish that until I'm at my permanent ship (building) after leave. They actually gave me the entire break, from the 17th to the 2nd. I'll be ten days in the hole on how much leave I have saved. I won't be able to make that up until I'm in San Diego, or maybe just before.
Maria is still here. She'll be around until just after I go to San Diego and then she heads there. We're hanging a lot and doing leave together. She's my only friend here. There's some other people from 903 that are cool, but I never hang with them. I look for people with real depth of character and I don't really see it in any of them or anyone I've met so far. She has much the same issue. I've been pretty damn busy, though, so I haven't met many other people. Most of the ones I've met have been all about getting drunk and laid, so it's quite like college, as I said. It's not bad, though. I can chill on my computer and hang with Maria. We'll start hitting Chicago every weekend or something when we get back.
I need to look at my contract to see if I get E4 out of A school. I should. The other six year STGs get it and my recruiter told me I would, but he's an idiot. There's also a thing on this sheet I got about my two year extension that sounds like it, but not quite. I haven't seen anything that says it out right. I'm aiming for E7 (chief) before my six years is up. It can be done, though it's very difficult. You gotta be hot shit, but, well, I am. I just take it more seriously than everyone else. I'm not even super patriotic; I just want to do my job well.
Hoorah Navy!
|
|
| I'm Sailing Away |
[22 Sep 2010|10:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 angry |
] |
The nuke age waiver that I've been messing with never came back. Everyone is on vacation or otherwise occupied. Didn't get a yes or no and now it's so close to my other leave date that it doesn't matter. The paperwork to get me switched would take like another month, so I'm leaving on October 4th as a sonar tech, which I found out two weeks ago, EVEN THOUGH I had been asking my recruiter if I should be getting ready just in case. He kept saying "Naw, bro. It's gonna come through. Don't worry about it." That is, until the last zone meeting where he told me that I'd be kicked out if I'm not ready by the 4th. Wish I would've known that before I dropped another grand on fixing the car... Sonar tech isn't a bad job and it's still in the advanced electronics and computer field, but it's definitely not the top end thing like nuclear and does not offer the same opportunities outside of the Navy. I'll probably stick with it anyway. With nuke, I would have no free time at all during school, which lasts for two years. My only ship options are a carrier or a sub, both of which I've heard are not good to be on. Something like 70% of people in nuke school fail or drop out. If that happens, you get whatever job the Navy needs, regardless of your ability. You may have qualified for nuke, but they needed a cook, so that's what you're going to be. Sonar tech gives me a lot more freedom during school, which is also shorter. I can be on any ship in the fleet. They get promoted a lot faster, as there's less competition. Basically, it sounds more fun and I'll still get to see the world. I'm probably going to end up going for officer anyway, so my starting job doesn't matter so much. However, if I do not go officer and end up wanting out after my six years, there's no sonar tech related job that I think I'd want. Hopefully, my college and military service would be enough to get me in somewhere.
I am EXTREMELY stressed out. I've never been so stressed. It's not the leaving part, it's that it was jumped on me and now I'm racing to get everything in order and I have absolutely no time for anything fun AND shit keeps going wrong, like getting a speeding ticket. I took care of the ticket and it's off my record, but there went another $191. There's several other things that I'm not putting on here, because I don't want any record of them anywhere. I'm going to be flat broke when I go in and I have no money to do anything fun before that, becaues I spent it all on the car, which I would not have done if I'd known I was leaving so soon. I will not get to hang with all my friends. There will be no party for me. Six Flags is only open on the weekends and I won't be in town for most of that and will be busy at the times that I am around. Not that it's worth going on the weekends anyway. I do actually have free time during the week, but nobody else does. I'm stuck at home playing EverQuest, which is not fun. It's merely something I do when I have nothing better to do and that subscription runs out today. I don't know if it's worth the $15 to renew it for a month when I'll only be able to use it for a week and a half and I'm very low on money.
This last Kinetics is going terrible. Everything is wrong. I wish I would've known that I was leaving this soon, so I could've had more time to prepare. If I wasn't so stressed, I could do it just fine. I really wanted to knock out a final Best of Vocals and Parasympathetic, but this set is going so bad that I think it'd just stress me out even more to do them.
So, basically, my last two weeks of freedom are complete shit and then I go to boot camp and it's all because my recruiter is a dumb ass. Not a liar, but a dumb ass. As I've said so many times in the last couple months, virtually all of my problems are caused by other people being stupid/lazy/worthless.
The good things that will happen before I leave in order of when they'll happen:
1. Movie with Dad and Mindy
2. Dinner with Mom and Grandpa
3. Rank up in ACWA
4. Baptism
Hope I don't tear someone's head off before I go.
|
|
| Somnambulism |
[20 Jul 2010|11:43pm] |
Maria and I had a good time when she was here. Didn't make it to Six Flags, though. It stormed the day we were going to go. We filled up her computer with a bunch of stuff to watch and read. I think she's running out now, though.
I used the hell out of that Six Flags/Hurricane Harbor pass for a couple weeks. Haven't gone since. I'm sure I'll get out a lot more when it cools off.
Still at Champion, but I don't know how long it'll last. They're still giving me over night and then early morning shifts.
I took the Navy Advanced Placement Test and got 64/80. The minimum I needed was 50, so I guess I'm good to go on the nuke thing now. I'm waiting for an age waiver. Technically, the cut off age for nuke is 24, but they tell me I should get through no problem. Just waiting to hear about that.
Car is in the shop. Here goes all my monies.
StarCraft 2 comes out in a week! I was a big fan of the old one.
Inception is a damn good movie.
I'm considering joining the ACWA instructor program.
More chilling while waiting for the Navy stuff.
Science!
|
|
| In the Navy |
[17 Jun 2010|05:59pm] |
Went through MEPS and joined the Navy. They forgot to tell me they needed my high school transcript for the nuclear program until they were about to take me to the MEPS hotel, so now they're having to switch me over to it. I've been to two DEP meetings. I'm older, stronger, and in better shape than all the other recruits at my branch and better than most at all the DFW branches. This matters because I'm going to be skipping the majority of these meetings and they need to know that I'll keep myself in shape.
Maria's coming to town on Wednesday for about a week!
I picked up a dual season pass for Six Flags and Hurricane Harbor with free parking and I'm using the hell out of it. They're both real close, so I just swing through for a few hours whenever I want. Their website fucked up and charged me for a second dual pass and they wouldn't refund it. Rayven bought it from me, but I still had to eat $40.
I'm considering finding another job until I finally head to boot camp. Champ has been screwing me. For about a month and a half now, they've been promising me these Driver Pipeline locations that I want. It was about to happen, then suddenly they threw me out to Lincoln Tech for a week and a half, which sucked a lot as it was outside all day. That ended last week and now they're putting me out at some other spots that still aren't what they promised me. They're using me to save their asses. When someone screws up at one post, they'll put me there for a while until they find someone else. I'm the best looking guy at the company, since I got some muscle and have a more military look to me, so I'm being used like face-boy or something. Maybe if I started goofing off and getting caught on purpose, they'd stick me somewhere that I want to be. When other people goof off, they get sent to posts where they can kick back and not get in trouble. Almost nobody ever gets fired. I put in for an evaluation today, so we'll see. If they give me the raise and put me at a decent post, I'll stick around.
Not much else to say. Work, KFM, Navy, Six Flags. That pretty much sums up everything I'm going to be doing for the next six months.
|
|
| Locktite |
[17 May 2010|02:21am] |
|
I have an issue that I've wanted to work out for years now. I've never been in enough challenging, on the spot type situations, so when something happens I tend to freeze up. My new fighting game, Tekken 6, has the perfect example. When I'm playing against people I know, I keep my cool and flow real well and they usually don't stand a chance. Even when they get going pretty good, I stay calm and come back no problem. When I play online, however, I lock the hell up and forget what to do. It's so bad that I was forcing my self to breathe while playing, because I'd hold it in and tense up my entire body. It's almost like I need to be on a muscle relaxer or something to not freak out. I'm a pretty damn good player when that shit doesn't happen. The game, of course, was just a good example. This happens in many other areas as well, except driving. I'm good about dodging morons and wreck-causing crap. It would happen back when I was sparring someone that was decent. They'd go for something and I'd just lock up and let them drive me back, even though I knew exactly how to counter whatever they were doing. I think I've beaten it in martial arts, now, except for flinching. I still close my eyes any time someone throws anything towards them, but that may just be because I have a big thing about shit getting near my eyes. I always have to do that optometrist air blow thingy like six times before they finally get a good read, because I jerk back every time. Anyway, back to the main thing. I've never been in many fights or been put on the spot much, so I seriously lack confidence in my ability to do things. I'm damn good in practice and I'm a very smart guy, but I haven't been tested, so when something big is coming up I get way nervous about being able to handle it. This makes me very angry sometimes and I'm not really sure what to do about it. I can't go around picking fights and serious tests don't come up often. I've been trying to work this out for around ten years, but don't really get how. Back in the day, when I played fighting games way more, I never got past this stuff. We'd play for hours a day, a few times a week, for months in a row and I never stopped freezing when I was playing someone good. It doesn't seem like putting myself in those situations is going to help.
|
|
| Regular post |
[01 May 2010|11:20am] |
Aight, so what's been going on for the last month or so? Well, I moved to Grand Prairie and now live with Keith. Rent is only $300 a month with no utilities or anything extra, so that's good. I'm having to clean the place up a lot, though. It was pretty filthy when I got here. I don't think he had ever cleaned the kitchen or bathroom. My room is very much the most tidy place in the house. He's not a bad roomy. He mostly hangs out at his computer or PS3 at the other end of the house.
I went up to see Maria right after moving. We saw some sites and had a good time. It was a long ass drive. I think I gained like 5 lbs. of fat because I sat in a car eating crappy food for a day and a half. Oh, I had to drop a little over a grand on the car to make the drive. It still has issues, too. The main one is an oil leak, which is now worse since having the car looked at. Oh, and I think the gas mileage is worse now. It's not from unhooking the Water4Gas thing, because that wasn't even filled up for a month or so.
I'm back to work, but don't have a set schedule yet. I keep having a couple days where I work overnight and then a day where I work in the morning. That's kind of annoying. I'm supposed to get three 13 hour overnight shifts pretty soon. That's what I want, so I can just knock out my work week and have four days off. The Dallas branch still haven't sent my checks over. I'm actually under a grand in the bank now because of that. They should be in Monday. If they're not, I'm just gonna drive out and grab them and bitch at everyone there for being lazy. I should have like $800 or something coming to me and it'll be all at one time because I'm way back due.
I am officially fattist. Seriously, fat people disgust me. This is a big reason why I can't find a date. I only ask two main things: 1. Don't be an idiot. 2. Don't be fat. No luck in a year and a half or so. I hate the U.S. and our 70+% obesity rate. The internet is full of stupid fatties and the clubs are full of stupid skanks. People are largely worthless, as my previous post pointed out.
I'm talking to the Navy enlisted people and have a meeting set up for the Air Force next Thursday. I gotta go take the ASVAB and see what jobs I qualify for, which will be all of them. I only missed one question on the practice test and that was because I moved on, since it was timed, and then I couldn't go back when I had five minutes left at the end. I should be able to go back on the real thing, unless they're completely retarded, which could very well be. I was able to go back on the officer test. The Air Force person is way backed up on calls after taking a week off and I have a feeling they're going to take too long to get anything done for me to even go into it if I wanted (I hear that's often the case with the AF anyway). We shall see, though.
So, back to the same crap in a different city. Hanging out at home or work, almost never going out to do anything fun, and waiting on military crap. Woohoo.
Failboat
|
|
| Introspection |
[18 Mar 2010|03:19am] |
I don't think I've ever put a bunch about myself on here. It's always been more of what's going on, or lack there of. There's some big things here and there, but not much fully describing me. Some of this may seem arrogant, but it's not meant to be. It's how I am and how I see the world.
I'm one of those people that feels completely alone in a crowded room. In fact, I pretty much feel alone all the time, often even when hanging out with friends. I'm not like anyone I know. I can't relate to anyone very well. The few people I have some real connection with are too far away for me to do anything with. I'm on three internet forums, one that currently has 216,381 members, and I'm not like anybody. I'm on two of the most popular free dating sites, but can't connect with anyone. I've rejected something like 600 people all together and talked to maybe 20, none of which went anywhere. You see, I don't think like other people. I don't care about the things most everyone else cares about. I don't care about stuff/things/items. I care about experiences, ideas, and what's happening. I think about religion, philosophy, science, politics, ways to make the world better, why people are the way they are, and ways to improve myself. These are the things running through my mind all day. I have whole conversations in my head where I go back and forth on the pros and cons or facts and opinions of whatever.
I am very smart. More than I let show, by far. The fact is, only two people I know can keep up with me on serious topics and one of them has a completely jaded view on everything. Instead of bringing this stuff out, I bust out the jokes. Everyone likes to laugh. I totally agree that "a day without laughter is a day wasted" (Charlie Chaplin), but there's so much more that I always want to go into. When you show people that you are very smart, they end up thinking you're an arrogant know-it-all.
I look at the world through a lense of disappointment and disgust. I do try to love my neighbor, as it were, but I have so much trouble because everyone cares about things that just don't matter. Also, when they actually care about something that matters, they're almost always too lazy to do any real research on the topic, so their opinion is worthless. At least the hatred is gone, so I suppose I'm a step closer. Most people's cares are obvious, but even when they're not, I see the reasons behind the reasons. I can read into someone based on what they're wearing or go deeper into their actions or what they're saying and I'm rarely wrong. I see all the greed, stupidity, pettiness, etc. that's in everyone. Of course, everyone has failings, but the problem is that they don't see them or don't try to overcome them. I look at the people of the world and think things like "Am I really one of them?". Why does everyone seem to want to waste their lives with worthless items, alcohol fueled experiences, and meaningless sex?
Example of something I think about people: Most people hold a door open for someone and feel good about themselves, but few of those people donate to any charities. Even when they do, they don't give enough to cause any sort of hindrance to their own lives. If people really cared, they'd drop their entire disposable income and maybe even find ways to cut back on things so they could give more. They would, at least, drop enough to cause them not to go out for a weekend. That's not how people are, though. They give just enough to feel good about themselves without causing any sort of impact in their own lives.
I wish I was a super hero. There's all the cool powers and action, but more than that. Super heroes are symbols. If we had a real one that stood for things like truth and justice, all the good stuff that they do in the comics, people would have someone to make them better. Of course, as a Christian, there is Jesus (Yeshua) and I'm not knocking him, but something now and in person would really rock the world. Like I said before, people are too lazy to do their research, which includes former heroes. We need someone who steps up and calls out everyone on the planet on their bullshit and can't be stopped and can't be corrupted. Lacking super powers and if I stay in the U.S., I may end up going into politics to try and change things, but I don't know if I could really make a difference. Being a politician that can't be bought and doesn't lie to the people usually means a failed campaign. I don't know what I'm going to do, really. I want to change the world for the better, but it seems like it would take a serious human extinction level scare to get people to focus on what matters.
Outro
|
|
| BioLogos |
[03 Mar 2010|05:25pm] |
Nothing new to report in my daily life other than 24 Hour Fitness trying to screw me out of extra money after lying about closing Maria's account.
This post is going to be about religion. Although I think about religious things very often, I was prompted to make this post because of a video of a presentation given by Dr. Francis Collins, a devout Christian and head of the, now completed, human genome project.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjJAWuzno9Y
You see, I've always had an issue with ignorance, namely everyone else's glaring ignorance towards damn near everything important. Though, this obviously has to do with quite a few subjects, I'll keep it to religion on this one. People in general, be it atheists, agnostics, Christians, or any other religion/anti-religion, almost never do their research. Atheists are generally very anti-religion, which makes no sense to me, considering that absolutely nothing matters at all according to their belief. They seem to avoid serious research so they can keep a smug look and insult anyone who believes in anything. Agnostics are just lazy. They are only so, because they haven't looked at enough data to make a choice. Christians and people of other religions, by far, have issues with blind faith. They believe what they are told. Few even read the Bible or whatever holy book is the foundation of their religion. In all instances, people reason things out for themselves and avoid serious research at all costs. As Edison once said, "It is remarkable to what lengths people will go to avoid thought." I find this wholly disappointing, considering that if any religion is correct, then it is by far the most important thing there is.
When speaking of religion to people, I hit them with these questions (related to Christianity, of course). Have you read the Bible? All of it? Did you fact check everything that sounded weird? Did you go outside the Bible to find other evidence? How many other sources and how long did you research (it will take over a year)? Did you understand it? I got my start by reading the whole thing straight through, minus the songs and psalms, because they're not so relevant on the decision to follow. Now I'm going back through the New Testament and fact checking everything. I also listen to my pastor, on the occasion that I get to go. However, I don't just blindly follow what he says. I fact check him just as much and sometimes totally disagree. However, we agree on most things and I think he's a good source because he's an actual biblical scholar with a PhD. There's podcasts if you want to check it out. www.abundantlifegp.com
So many believe these remarkable fallacies. Ones like doing good deeds = going to heaven, or the Earth is only 6000 or so years old, or you have to live your life completely restricted to the point of having no fun, etc. Atheists use these against Christians all the time, which only shows that few have any idea what they're talking about. They also like to jump back and find crap in the Old Testament and ask why we're not following that, not understanding that Jesus came around and set a lot of BS straight. Also, we're not bound by the Old Testament. It was more to show that we are fallible and unable to do everything perfect (at least as I understand).
I hold fast that around 99% of people are complete idiots and too lazy to do anything about it and that 99% of people that believe that statement are also idiots.
I bet nobody watches that two hour video or checks any of the podcasts.
*edit* One more thing I forgot to touch on. A lot of people like to blame religion for various wars and massacres. Now, anyone who knows some stuff about political and military strategy should be able to figure out that this is not the case (48 Laws of Power & 33 Strategies of war anyone?). Religion was merely the scapegoat for everything. Here's how it goes: Big Leader Guy wants Lesser Neighbor Guy's land/resources/whatever. Now, BLG can't just say "Hey, let's go take their stuff, because fuck them, we want it." He can, however, say "Those guys are evil heathens that rape children and eat babies, so let's go and get rid of them and sanctify their land." You see, most people like to think they're the good guys, so nobody will get behind just taking someone else's stuff. However, who wouldn't get behind destroying the child raping baby eaters? Only other child raping baby eaters, of course. This creates something that you have to be behind. Much like how anyone that was against racial profiling after 9/11 was unpatriotic. The point is, religion is not to blame, it is merely a convenient scapegoat. If it was removed, all the wars and stuff would still happen, there would just be some other cause to rally behind.
|
|
| Tilde |
[31 Jan 2010|12:32am] |
|
Well, the Navy stuff is still going, but keeps getting moved back. I'm now waiting until March to get accepted. They also don't seem to want people to graduate until the new fiscal year in October, so that means I still won't be leaving until like August. That stuff changes my housing plans. I thought I'd be gone before my lease with Frank was up. The new plan is to move in with Keith. It'll save me a couple hundred a month and allow me to switch back to Champion in Arlington. Also, like half my stuff is already there. Speaking of all my stuff, I'm trying to get rid of a lot of it. I've been wanting to do that for some time, but it seems more prudent now with the Navy stuff coming. Oh! I got an iPhone! I'm actually posting this from it. Smartphones are where it's at. I'm really digging tablets, too. The iPad is lame, but there's some other ones coming with more open operating systems. It feels like we're getting closer to the stuff we see in sci-fi movies. HELLO WORLD Posted via LiveJournal.app.
|
|
| Eeep |
[27 Dec 2009|02:18pm] |
I have to wait until sometime near the end of February to find out if I'm accepted to OCS. They tell me I should be, though. Nothing else happening with that stuff.
Champion finally jumped my rank up. I'm sargeant now, which is the rank after corporal. It only took them about six months...
No more camping since it got freaking cold.
I went out to Longview, then Carthage to do family stuff for Christmas, which was a good time. Leaving Dallas, however, was a bad time. It was snowing and the roads were icy. Every single bridge was iced and moving very slow, if at all. I got stuck on one for about an hour because of a spun out SUV that couldn't be turned for some reason. It would've only taken about five minutes for someone to come up the other side of the bridge with a tow rope and get it out of the way, but that was just too easy. Everyone on there ended up just backing down the bridge and finding another way to get on the interstate.
Back to Keysi again this month. I think I'll do a back and forth thing. They're both so awesome, but I don't have the cash or time to take two.
Oh, my weight is going back up. I'm around 197 lbs. now and rising. I'm going to need it for all I'm going to lose at OCS. I've also been really hitting the cardio and pulled an eight minute mile on the treadmill today. I'd rather do it outside, but I don't want an upper respiratory infection.
I suppose there's really not much going on. I got some new stuff like my iPhone and netbook. Mainly just doing the waiting game for OCS.
Turtles!
|
|
| Body movin' |
[22 Nov 2009|03:09pm] |
All the paperwork for the Navy stuff is going to be done this coming week. I have to get all the transcripts in and a bunch of other crap. After I get all this in, the recruiter will submit it on the first of next month. I'll find out if I'm accepted (I don't see why I wouldn't be) on the 15th or so. I head out to OCS 1-3 months after that. It's all pretty daunting, but I do want the major life change and to do something that I really have to step up to. A sink or swim kinda deal, I suppose.
I am currently holding at 190 lbs. That's a good 20 pounds lighter than where I thought I'd be right now (ten pounds under where I was). I'm pretty sure the weight lost was water and fat, because my strength hasn't suffered yet. I'm having to up my diet with the cardio training I'm doing for the Navy.
Maria and I have been going camping a good bit lately. We're heading out on every deload week in my workout plan, which is every four weeks. Dinosaur Valley and Chickasaw National Recreational Area are the last two. I think we'll get another one or two in before we both head off to the Navy.
Looks like I'll get at least two more Kinetics in. I've gotta finish some other sets as well. My Best of Vocals series is going amazingly well. It has by far the most downloads. DI.fm should've given me a scheduled show when I asked about it a while back.
I'm switching from Keysi to ACWA. The same guys teach it, but it's their own system. It still incorporates a lot of Keysi, but has some extra stuff and deals with weapons a lot sooner. It's also a two hour class, instead of a one hour class, so there's more bang for my buck. If funds work out, I may dish out the extra for two classes a week and go to both. I want to learn as much of this stuff as possible before I head out to the Navy. I probably won't get to do any of it again once I'm in.
Deep down into this rabbit hole we fell...
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
chaos_reigns's journal