Luke (chaos_reigns) wrote,

How it is

This post is about how things really are and why I am how I am. The world needs to be looked at objectively. I'm always asking myself what really matters and if things are true. Should I be mad at this? Happy at this? Is that person actually mad at me? Does family/blood matter? What is good and is there inherent meaning in stuff? Is any religion right? Lots of questions. That's what's in my head.

I don't talk much because I find that I don't have much in common with people. I want to talk about things that matter. Catching up takes like five minutes and I can't drag out what I've got going on longer. Religion, politics, news, etc. The serious stuff that people don't like to talk about, because it's better to avoid feeling weird and possible disagreement or being wrong. This is why people don't vote and why religion is fading and why change in general takes forever. Laziness and not wanting to feel bad. People aren't really people for the most part, anyway. They're animals, controlled by emotional pushes. Studies now have shown that people tend to go with how they feel, rather than information, and also that people generally are not even close to who they think they are. They don't think. They just do. They just feel. It's too awkward and hard to think about things and do research. Better to just go with the flow. >99% of people, I think, are simply a direct result of their cultural upbringing and could be exchanged for nearly any other person. This is pretty obvious when you look at things we call extreme now, like infanticide and torture, that have been staples of various cultures throughout history.

With my parents, it's more a lack of similar interests, I think. We have some TV shows, but that's about it. I don't know what to talk about. I don't always respond to texts because I don't know what to say. If we were the same age and not related, we wouldn't hang out. There's a further disconnect with grandparents and other relatives. Is family blood? Does blood matter? Blood certainly doesn't help me come up with conversational topics or give me a huge interest in stuff they're interested in.

Tact. That's what I don't have, so I'm told. I don't really get it. To me, you should always tell the truth. The truth is not an attack, it just is. No tact should be necessary to describe reality to someone.

It's not that I'm emotionless, like a Vulcan or something. I just try to look at stuff objectively first. Is this a good or bad thing? Is this true? Is this emotion valid for this? It's there, but it's a factor that's taken into account.

Life's weird to me.
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